Lately I realized that my mind is constantly busy checking out all kinds of negative scenarios...

Mistakes happening, obstacles arising, misunderstandings coming up, people treating me in an unfriendly way, and the list goes on and on...

What for? Why? I wondered. And I came to the conclusion that it's probably some sort of protection mechanism.

It tries to make sure I will foresee everything (aka Be prepared!). And I am a perfectionist when it comes to worst case scenarios - hello! You'd be surprised...!!!

I wonder how many of us have this. In my case it is a leftover from my childhood where my father's mood could switch from one second to the next. Like an outburst of anger. And as a kid I did not see his anger coming. Well, as a matter of fact, I guess he himself was not aware of what triggered him that much.

The louder he was shouting at me and everyone around him, the more afraid I got. Later in my teenage years I started shouting back. But it did not release anything. Instead the tension increased.

Many years later, after having talked to my therapist about it, I had to admit that my defense mechanism did not help me in any way. Instead it kept me from doing what I really wanted. That was like a revelation to me.

Little by little I started to change my focus and became really grateful for all the support I received throughout my whole life. It's a matter of perspective after all.

And when I started my meditation practices, it became crystal clear to me: I attract in my life what I focus on...

These days, I am pleasantly surprised by what's happening in my life (most of the time, not always). The world is not that bad, after all, I figured out.

A big THANK YOU to all my loved ones and supporters who believe in me 😀